Once upon a time in the Fall of 2013 I toasted to waffles. I remember it clearly: perched up (more realistically sloppily leaning on) the bar at The Jones B-side between Bre and Matt, my friend who was visiting from New York. I'd just gotten out of a crazy long Fine Print meeting and couldn't have been more excited for that Wednesday $5 martini special. And they're damn good martinis, too. Anyway, a couple drinks in we were trying to decide what to cheers to and I took the first indecisive pause to butt in with "WAFFLES." Clink. My explanation for that toast was apparently "Guys, I'm really into waffles this year." But, oh, I had no idea. It is only now that I feel justified to make such a bold statement.

So, guys, I'm really into waffles this year. Like this:

It's a freaking SAVORY waffle. Savory. Waffle.

Waffle.

This was breakfast this morning. Also, Bre + I made this exact waffle for dinner last night, too. Except the accompanying beverage was an ice cold Brooklyn Lager. It was that good. If anything, the back-to-back meal thing proved its versatility and thus ultimate perfection. Eating this, all I could think about was how I wanted to make this for everyone I love (all at once, right at that second) so they could experience its flawlessness. Unfortunately I couldn't make it for everyone I love all at once, all at that second -- nor will I ever be able to -- but you can make it for yourself. And pretend I made it for you.

INGREDIENTS (2 servings)

10 asparagus spears
olive oil
salt + pepper
smoked salmon (personal recommendation: ducktrap brand's dill smoked salmon; take salmon out of fridge before you start any of this prep)
2 eggs

CORNMEAL CHIVE WAFFLES

1 1/4 c all-purpose flour
3/4 c yellow cornmeal
scant 1 tbs sugar
1 tbs baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 3/4 c almond/soy/whatever milk
6 tbs vegetable oil
several chive leaves
2 eggs

VEGAN HOLLANDAISE

1 c silken tofu
4 tbs lemon juice
2 tbs nutritional yeast
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
4 tbs vegetable oil

Okay, this are some piecey and disjointed instructions, so bear with me. I promise it's overall super simple. (Even if it weren't, it's worth it.)

For the waffles, mix all the ingredients in a big ol' bowl and lay a ladel-full of that goodness onto your pre-heated waffle maker. Once the timer on your waffle maker goes off, let the waffle hang out in there a little longer for that extra crisp.

For the hollandaise, microwave the silken tofu on a plate for 30 sec. Toss it in a food processor and purée. Add in all the remaining ingredients except for the oil, then purée some more. Finally, add in the oil as the food processor's still running on low (like super super low, like you should probably just hand mix it if you're afraid you'll end up spattering it everywhere).

The asparagus is easy. Just cut off the bitter ends of the spears and sauté them in olive oil, seasoning with salt + pepper to taste. Pull 'em off the heat when they're al dente and they've got that fresh crisp, yet are fully cooked. Or blanching the asparagus could be cool, too. I think next time I make this, I'll try doing that.

Finally, poach the eggs. I'm not gonna host an Egg Poaching 101, but do your best to follow these instructions here. Just make sure that vortex is A+.

At this point, I imagine you're practically salivating so go ahead and throw that waffle down on a plate. Then throw a couple slices of salmon on it. Then lay down your asparagus spears in perfect alignment. Plop a poached egg on top and go crazy with the hollandaise. (Note: be careful not to overzealously plop the egg lest the force breaks the yolk, and thus you are left to eat your breakfast/brunch/lunch/dinner/creation in a self-loathsome pool of tears.)

Enjoy.